


Five Finger Fillet

by force



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blood, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, One Shot, Sadstuck, Self-Harm, Unrequited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-11
Updated: 2013-08-11
Packaged: 2017-12-23 04:13:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/921860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/force/pseuds/force
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave tries to play the Knife Game in peace, but Karkat is not having it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Finger Fillet

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the Knife Game Song videos on Youtube. I recommend you watch at least one before reading.

Dave stood at the table, everything prepared before him.  A whole two years had passed by on the meteor, and the boredom was really getting to him. He wiped off the cutting board, and layed his hand on it, splaying his fingers out as far as he could. He would need all the room he could get, as he wasn't using a normal knife. No way.  
  
He was Dave Fucking Strider, and he'd put off doing this for two years. now with absolutely nothing else to distract him, he could think of no reason not to besides just being a pussy-- and he was no pussy.  
  
He picked up his broken Caledfwlch, gripping it tightly in his right hand, raising it over his left, and he began to sing.  
  
 _"Oh, I've got all my fingers, the knife goes chop, chop, chop...."_  
  
With each word, the jagged end of the blade hit the cutting board in the spaces between his digits, which were spread so far apart it almost hurt.  
  
 _"If I miss the spaces in between, my fingers will come o---"_  
  
"DAVE? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"  
  
Dave's head whipped up at the sound of Karkat's exclamation, the distraction causing him to knick the side of his pinky.  
  
"Fuck, look what you did," he grumbled. Karkat stormed over and stared at Dave's hand, now bleeding.  
  
"ARE YOU OKAY? I KNOW YOU HUMANS RESORT TO SELF-MUTILATION WHEN YOU'RE UPSET, AND--"  
  
"I'm not cutting myself. I'm doing the Five Finger Fillet," Dave told him matter-of-factly.  
  
"SO YOU'RE GOING TO CHOP THEM OFF AND EAT THEM? IS THIS A THING PEOPLE ON EARTH DO?" Karkat stared at him in shock.  
  
"No, I'm not eating them. It's a game."  
  
"WHO ARE YOU PLAYING WITH?"  
  
"My Bro." Dave clenched his teeth behind his blank expression, "He showed it to me a while ago. I told him I had better things to do."  
  
"YOU _DO_ HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN CUT YOUR FINGERS OFF!"  
  
"Just shut up," Dave raised the knife again, starting over:  _"Oh, I've got all my fingers, the knife goes chop chop chop...."_  
  
Karkat stared at his hand in frozen suspense, Dave's disturbing song bouncing around his head.  _If I miss the spaces in between my fingers will come off._  
  
 _"And if I hit my fingers, blood will soon come out. But it's all the same, I play this game, 'cause that's what it all ab--_  Fuck, Karkat, what the hell?!"  
  
Karkat grabbed the blade without thinking, pulling it out of Dave's grip. There was bright red blood dripping down his fingers, but he didn't seem to notice. "THIS IS STUPID!" He scolded, "NO, NO WAY AM I LETTING YOU DO THIS! YOUR STRANGE MAN-LUSUS IS NOT HERE, AND ANYONE WHO COULD HAVE BUILT YOU A NEW HAND IS NOW DEAD!"  
  
Dave lunged back for the blade, grabbing the handle and trying to tug it away from Karkat. The two pulled on it, Karkat's hand still on the blade. The troll winced, but didn't let go.  
  
"Karkat, give it up, you don't get it!" Dave tried to hide his anger, but it slipped through his teeth anyway, "I need to do this."  
  
"WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS NOT RISK YOUR FINGERS FOR NO FUCKING REASON."  
  
"You know, for being a dangerous, tough troll from big, scary Alternia, you sure don't seem to have any balls."  
  
"WHETHER OR NOT I HAVE SPHERICAL TOYS IS COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT. LET GO OF THE FUCKING SWORD!"  
  
"No way dude." Dave pulled harder. Karkat gasped as the sword cut a little deeper into his hand.  
  
"YOU THINK THIS WILL MAKE YOUR 'BRO' PROUD? YOU NEED THAT HAND TO HELP WIN THE NEXT GAME SESSION."  
  
"I don't need to make him proud, I'm doing this for me! Let go!"  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE?"  
  
Dave stopped pulling and let go of the sword, letting Karkat fall backwards onto his ass.  
  
"Fuck you, Vantas," he spat before leaving the room.


End file.
